First off, let me say we never wanted to offend anyone with what you will read here. Most of it was written late at night, when insanity and insomnia collide. Um… some are just short little things over the IM when we needed a laugh - others longer parts we had written into real chapters. Again, yeah, none of this was really ever meant to be seen, and it probably should have stayed that way. Also remember these are not proofed, so there will likely be many grammatical errors, I’m sure. But here is the first batch in original (and extremely bad) form:
(The first line of this was really from SIB, after that not so much)
Squall caressed her face with his hand. Suddenly, her eyes fluttered open and she saw him kneeling before her.
Rinoa: Squall…are…are you okay?
Squall: Rinoa…I…I have to tell you something
Rinoa: Yes Squall?
Squall: Rinoa…I…I don’t want anybody else…when I think about you…I touch myself…oh I don’t want anybody else….oh no….oh no…oh no
Rinoa: Oh my God Squall the Divinyls?!? Of all the sappy 80s love songs you could have quoted you picked the damn Divinyls? *rolls her eyes in disgust* Get out of my way, I think spongebob is on.
(This is the short version of SIB in sixty words or less)
Squall: life sucks
Elise: marry me squall
Squall: ...might as well
Rinoa: *yawn* I'm awake
Squall: Rinoa I missed you! Screwing my shrink really sucked
Rinoa: Take me now squall!
Squall: Go jump off a bridge Elise
*walks off with Rinoa*
Elise: *cries a lot then dies*
Quistis and Laguna: yay!
The End
(Back in the days we were still allowed to use quotes per chapter, this was one we had made when we couldn’t find something fitting)
Ruby Dragons are red,
bite bugs are blue.
Elise is a ho-stank byatch,
it is damn true.
--Most of the readers
bite bugs are blue.
Elise is a ho-stank byatch,
it is damn true.
--Most of the readers
(Okay this is the longest one, I would have to go back and look what chapter it was taking from. I was thinking something like nineteen, again first lines are real after that…)
The rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee filled the air. Elise emptied the contents of the second sugar packet into the mug. Stirring halfheartedly, she couldn’t tear her eyes from the manuscript she held firmly in hand. It was controlling, pulling her like the irresistible force.
And she was no immovable object.
She was shocked when she heard the door to her office shut, she was positive she locked the door. She set her papers down, scanning the entranceway quickly. A sudden chill over took her, and fear began to course through her veins.
“Oh my god...” She looked around for a weapon, but there was nothing in sight but the stapler. She grabbed it and stood in attack formation. It was too late...
In the darkness their eyes glowed red, and the ferocious ‘yipping’ could cut your eardrums like a knife. “Please, anything but this...” Their shinny white front teeth glowed like a denture commercial... but this was far worse than any infomercial... it was FANPOODLES. They were relentless, as they slowly circled around her barring their teeth in anger.
“But why? What did I do? Honestly, I have only tried to help Squall... I can’t help what the authors have done.”
I didn’t matter, they heard nothing she said... for she wasn’t canon.
“Seriously, Rinoa can have him back... I just want a chance to look good, audition for a cameo on ER.”
Their growling increased in volume, shaking her to her very core.
“Look! How was I did know she was awake? I don’t read the story! I was planning on reading the story in full, but this whole ‘unite Squall and Rinoa knight/sorceress subplot got in the way.’ Damnit, seriously... I couldn’t eve get him calling me Rinoa in bed, it was really annoying. Plus his breakdowns always seemed to be during ‘must see TV.’ Do you know how many Friends episodes I missed…I’m still trying to figure out what happened to Ross and Rachael! You would at least think he could have been nice enough to have one of his episodes during Monday Night Football!”
She opened her top drawer producing several items. “See, I was cheering for them, I even have the limited edition Squall and Rinoa action figures! And Squaresoft limited edition quartz watch! See look at this, they are happy on the outside of the box... personally I had my eyes set on Laguna. He runs a whole country, and his ‘canon other’ is dead... always a safe bet.”
Their jaws bit in anger...it didn’t matter... she was an original character that needed to die a horrible, painful death.... Each poodle circled, stalking like a hungry lion... each trying to think of a way to kill her off. One held a gun, one a machete, one a chain and sickle, a spork, a butter knife, a Best of Michael Bolton CD, a DVD copy of Ishtar, and other horribly grueling ways of torture.... there would be no mercy.
........
In Winhill a young couple laid in bed cradled in each others arms.
“Um, Rinoa...how did we get here?”
“I’m not sure Squall... I remember being angry and you saying something about someone.”
“Oh yeah... um... that girl I knew in Trabia. I forget her name.”
“Yeah, me too.” They both stared blankly into the horizon for a moment, and then realized...they didn’t care what her name was.
Squall smiled brightly, “So anyway, lets say we forget the last eight years and start over.”
“Sounds like a plan, but first we must stay in bed all day and have hot monkey love.”
“Works for me...” He sat up in horror, quickly turning to the radio and hitting a button. “That was close Rinoa; I almost forgot to put the Michael Bolton on!”
.....
In the halls of Trabia late at night, people have claimed to hear a ghostly organ rendition of “Soul Provider.”
(Here is the surprise ending we have planned, but hey, I will let you see it now: ^_^ Written sometime when Squall and Rinoa were in Winhill together dancing during the storm)
And then, the door flew open and Elise ran in screaming, "get away from my man you Byatch."
And then, the door flew open and Elise ran in screaming, "get away from my man you Byatch."
"Squall?" Rinoa laughed at the thought, "You think I want Squall? I'm in love with his Daddy!"
"You're what?" The Headmaster screamed releasing the sorceress from his arms. "That loser? Rinoa did you not play the damn game? Hello, Moron over there... sperm donor loser with a machine gun. Mr. Dances with Moombas."
"Yeah...but the guy has his own damn country, and currently isn't cheating on his fiancée with the voices in his head, a fifth of liquor, and several anti-depressants... You know, Squall...I think you really should seek some medical help... Hey, all I was doing was just practicing for the mother/son dance... “
Rinoa smiled proudly, reaching for the ring around neck sighing dreamily, “Squall… Laguna and I are getting married!"
"You...Laguna...are...WHAT!?"
"It's okay, you don't have to call me mom until you're ready."
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Comments
Oh these are too cute! I love seeing "behind the scenes" sort of things...just from listening to you talk about writing this it seems like you really enjoy it, and that you and Wayward Tempest work really well together...(well, clearly you do, otherwise the story wouldn't be as great as it is...) <3
But..aww, I actually like Elise! I mean, she's not Rinoa...but was a good interim girl for Squall to keep him from going completely insane...but I really do think she is wonderful :) I hope that however you guys end it isn't too tragic for her <3
I'm glad Elise is at least 'tolerable.' When we originally planned it out we couldn't see doing it with a canon character (like Quistis) It just wouldn't have worked in our opinion. So hoped going that route wouldn't upset too many people.
Haha unused ideas are always fun :)
Yeah I don't think a canon character would have worked either...unless it was just a character you only encounter like, once...Squall and Selphie definitely do not work, and I really love the role Quists plays in this story :) (Though I did wonder...are your characters like Elise, Maude and Lauren based on people you know? I love seeing them reappear!)
Oh and one final thought...I don't know if you will get a chance to check, but I wrote a quick note to you on my personal journal...I have found a couple of songs that are soundtracks to your stories! :)
You know, I just had this weird vision of Squall and the Card Queen. ^_^ Now there is a fic waiting to happen!
Now to the next part...a little more complex and a little more embarrassing. Lauren is the easiest, not really based on anyone, though Alexandra (Alex) from Crimson was based on a small character in the tv show Wings, way back when my son was born. It was a character named Alex (Female) and the actress was born in the town I'm from. I think I rerun of Wings was on at the time... sad, I know.
Elise, well this one is just embarrassing, it was...oh boy, I had been playing SSX Tricky for awhile, and later found the action figure on clearance, hence the "Elise" there is a comment is SIB about her not having enough time to snowboard, which was an inside joke.
Maude, oh yeah, real person, though I never really knew her - I was one when she passed away. It would be my great-grandmother, and boy did I grow up hearing the stories. I think one day I'll do an entry about her, and a picture I have... All I can say is truth is sometimes scarier than fiction. ;)
I'll check your LJ out in a bit! Thanks, I've been so far behind, and tonight I'm here without any kids or husband...its kinda like a party for me Well, I have the cat and dog, but they are sleeping peacefully!
Oh neat that Alex has a story...I had always kind of figured she was throw-back to Zell's library girl :)
Elise is so well thought-out, and so recurring...I don't think it's embarassing that she is based on another character :) I like seeing her come back...though I must admit, as SiB was the first story of yours I read, whenever she comes back part of me always expects that she will become drama for Squall and Rinoa...not that she is bad drama, like I said before I love her character and the role that she plays, and the pain she goes through breaks my heart...but I still have that first impression of her :)
And that's awesome that Maude is a tribute to a family member...I love all of your recurring characters, but Maude is probably my favorite of your OCs :)
(Yay you for getting a night off!)
One of these days I really want to write something on my great-grandmother (aka Maude) though her name was really Elizabeth, she hated that and went by Reedy, not sure why. ^_^
I know some people have said something about me using the same OC characters in different stories, but honestly, I'm not that creative to come up with new ones all the time!
and poor Elise, okay i must admit that she is kinda annoying but she's not a bad person and i really hoped that she would've met someone else better than Squall. Well not saying that Squall sucks or anything but everyone's got their own problems and everything...
added you as a friend =) please add back~ ^___^
I love the humor in the 'mom' bit. I was thinking of making a line about that somewhere in Dancing in Time, I that is the only story I could get away with doing it. (In humor of course)
I'm so glad you have a LJ, now that the gymnastic season is almost over (daughter's last meet is this weekend) I should be around much more again. Yay!
i pretty much left a chapter unread (newest and last one) when reading your fic well i guess that's a sort of habit? It's a little hard to explain...maybe so that if i can no longer wait there's a chapter there that is waiting for me?? XD
please excuse my weird logic *gets shot*
and yay you updated but uggh, i shall read it when my exams are over D=
thank you in advance for chp 11 of After the Fall ^___^
I will confess to not being much of a fan of Elise although I do see the purpose in her being in the story and the writer in me gets severe chest pains at the thought of any written character not being taken seriously and having their viewpoint considered. But I'm also crazy, I believe my characters talk to me and guide their own action, and I'm just the in-between.
This was awesome and made me giggle muchly. Hope to see more! <3
And you must remember, Nicole and I are rather crazy, with a weird sense of humor at times. Which is why I wasn't sure if I should post these or not. ^_^
To be honest, I like elise even though sometimes I want to kill her...but only cause I want Squall and Rinoa together!! But she's a nice character and hopefully she'll find someone else...um...maybe Laguna!!LOL
Though, after carefully consideration, we think we'll stick with the original plan. Though I am pretty sure people would be horrified with the surprise Maude/Squall ending.
chrisVIII
I'm trying to think right off if we have any more Squall yelling scenes... not that I can think of, though he won't be happy with anybody in the near future, if that counts! ^_^ The yelling and fighting stuff is more my forte, as you could guess. ;)
..So, limited edition action figures huh?? :P
I started out as a humor writer, the drama thing came later. The first story I have had posted on the net - it is sooo not here anymore.
and well i read that you had this here lj dealio, and wondered if you wouldn't mind befriending another fan. :)
And no, not talking about "Plan B" where the large meteor falls on everybody and the story ends that way...although not ruling out the possibility. ^_^
Thank you for those, really made my day.
The last complete story I wrote I had a weird habit of drawing crappy story board things for what happened in each chapter. I also did a lot of art work for that story too, don't know how I spent so much time and effort on something that was never going to be seen, but somehow it helped make me inspired!
Anyways, I'd have so much fun messing around with the storyboards I used to make and making it so much more humorous. Its so much fun, especially when the scenes are supposed to be really serious.
In relation to Elise, (as I see a lot of people have mentioned their opinions on her) I have to say, I actually like her as a person - I don't like the fact that's she's engaged to Squall when he clearly should be with Rinoa! But I think in another world she's one of them people I would like, and in the story I do kind of feel some sympathy and respect for her. (:
I hope life isn't too stressful for you anymore at the moment! All the best,
Sarah xx
Thanks also for the vote on Elise, trying to do any original character is hard as people tend not to like them. Maude would be the exception I guess, cuz you know Squall won't end up with her - that story would be so wrong if he did!
And actually life is a tad bit less stressful now, hopefully going to be around more. Gymnastic season is over, but swimming starts, still that is easier to deal with. My hours are normal now, so that works well.
Thanks again Sarah, talk to you soon!
that was awesome!
I'm really looking forward to the rest of the real story but for now this is hilarious
especially the last one!